Caroline Yes

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Paris

12/9/10

We emerge from the catacombs in a daze, blinking against the light and the huge snowflakes floating down from the sky like tiny crystaline parachutes. Everything is covered in a thick blanket of snow and soft grey light and I feel a deep peace coming out of the cool wet boneyards. The alter of human remains tunnels deep into my psyche and soothes my raging heart. Deep underneath the city of light the boundaries of our bodies dissolve and everything is still. We are all equal in death. And it is snowing in Paris! LIFE IS AMAZING.

12/9/10, cont.

We tromp across boulevards and skirt narrow side streets until we reach the Seine and Notre Dame. The slush has soaked completely through my boots and my feet are wet and freezing cold but I don't care! The giant Christmas tree is ablaze in front of the cathedral and the snowflakes keep getting bigger and bigger. My receptors are wide open and my energy is humming and I feel calm and safe and perfectly balanced on a string of magic moments. I lean against the great portals of Notre Dame and let it wash over me. Inside the cathedral is yet another world, old and beautiful and sad and imposing and filled with majesty and utterly convincing in its godliness. I light a candle for my mother at the feet of Joan of Arc and reach out for some shared life force, tangled and violent and brutal and anchored with tender moments unspoken by history. There is a choir of angels singing somewhere - literally, I can't tell where it is coming from - and I think I would give ANYTHING to be here to hear the great organ bellow. I cry a little bit and step back out into the snow.